Hello My Family!

So this week was somehow cool and somehow blew. Kinda like Miles Davis playing the trumpet (ba dum crash) (get it? Miles Davis = Cool, He originated the 'cool school' jazz style and made an album called 'the birth of the cool'. Then Miles Davis played the trumpet, he blew. Band geek face here.)

So we were supposed to baptize Celine this Saturday but we didn't. Man nothing sucks more than a failed baptism. So let me give you some background info on Celine so you'll understand the story. Dig? Celine is 18 years old and lives with a family, whom we thought originally was her biological family but is not. We taught the whole family and they all prayed and all know it is true but the uncle is a pastor for SDA (Seventh Day Adventist church. They worship on Saturday.) so they have not come to church; except Celine. We found out that Mr. Biological daddy lives in South Africa and her mother lives in a far away region in Ghana. She has not seen her father for over 5 years. So the family whom she lives with and takes care of her is all cool with her being baptized. Celine was so excited, we even practiced at her house and she likes relief society and has good fellow-shippers and knows that the church is true. So we had her fill out the baptismal form and she needed her father and mothers birthdays. She called her father to get the birthday and he got mad at her and told her not to join the 'latter day saint church.' Man what is with me and finding all these children with absent fathers? So anywho she told us that he became violent on the phone so she gave the phone to the mother she stays with. We told Celine to give him a few days and then call him and ask for his permission and explain why she wanted to join the church. The mother she stays with is also going to help, she is going to call the father as well. The dad hasn't been around for 5 years because he is working in South Africa, far far away from his family... I am always confused at how Mr. Biological all-of-the-sudden 'cares'...

I'll letcha know how it turns out. Another Mr. Biological parent problem. Celine is 18 and we don't need the dads written consent to baptize her so it is up to Celine on what we should do. So anywho i'm all for keeping the broken family intact so I haven't said anything about it.

If you guys could say a special prayer for her and her far-away father, that would rock. I need to repent for being frustrated at this father. I just have to tell you so I won't explode and be a bad example here. You understand.

Anywho on the bright side, we interviewed a candidate named Phillip. We have been teaching Phillip for about 3 weeks now. He is 18 years old and was going to some different church meeting group thing where all denominations come together and discuss stuff and they all kinda meet in the middle doctrinally. In other words it was just apostasy haha. We shared with him the simple truths that are so familiar to the soul and he immediately grabbed onto it. He stays with his family, his mom really likes us but she is firm in her Methodist church stuff.

Here is a story on how awesome Phillip is, I called him a couple days before his interview and told him that we would meet at 9 and review the questions then our ZL would interview him at 11, after Sacrament. Phillip showed up in a clean white shirt and black tie at 8. He at first was having a hard time giving up drinking tea but I told him to ask God if it was a true commandment and if this is what God wanted him to do. He prayed and during his pre-interview I committed him to give up the tea and he said, "no problem. I prayed and I have stopped drinking it." Phillip goes to school learning computer stuff. We talk geek together, for instance he wasn't understanding the priesthood authority so we used an analogy about pirating microsoft vista and he understood. Geek speak is universal. He will be baptized this Saturday, hopefully with Celine.

So Elder Zadi and Nkemokolam baptized a dude Aaron on Saturday. They were supposed to baptize 3 but one was stuck in traffic and another just found out that her husband has been cheating on her... Big freaking idiot husband. She is going to talk to the bishop about this and she said that she will get baptized this Saturday. This girl is committed, her family are all Liberians who live in Utah. They called her and told her to join and she said, "hey I see those guys walking around in white shirts and ties. I'll talk to them." So hopefully this Saturday will be a baptism with lots of people.

Well I was going to transcribe over those wicked awesome "Government from the Book of Mormon" notes but alas, I forgot to bring my study journal to the cafe (doh!) I'll do it next week. You will enjoy it. After reading, and possibly during, you will have to roll around on the ground while playing the Jimi Hendrix version of the national anthem while dad salutes you.

Well today the email might be shorter because I have been helping my companion use the computer. I showed him my family history chart and we talked about his family and found out that 3 of his family members have died, one of them being his dad. So we talked about baptism for the dead and none of their work has been done. So I immediately made a by hand family pedigree chart and started sucking his brain for info. He then brought a record with his baptismal information on it to the internet cafe that he wanted to type up and email to himself so he could have a backup ( man, i love backups! ) So he is new to learning how to use a computer so I typed it up for him.

Ulgh, power just went out so we just took a tro-tro down to Malam Junction back to my gasoline powered internet.

Well anywho, I typed up this information about Elder Bobareh and emailed it to him in 2 formats and then saved it on his flash drive. Doing a simple process such as typing a document, printing it, saving it to an external source, emailing is quite a complicated thing to do here. I had to type it out for him using word, then saved it to his usb drive after a bunch of 'gal fetch stupid frustrated' gripings trying to have the computer recognize it. After it recognized it I saved it! Then someone bumped his table and his computer turned off. Luckily I saved it to his pen drive and the desktop multiple times, L have a ctrl+s nervous twitch (it is a blessing). Then I tried to email it to him from the pen drive, big mistake everything froze and it took forever. So I tried to email it from the one I saved on the desktop, however these internet cafe stuff automatically erase everything so it wasn't there, luckily it was on the pen drive. The only problem is that windows was not letting me open up his flashdrive because it was unknown. Usually they don't let you use flashdrives because of viruses. So I had to access his flashdrive using word, open the file and then save it on the desktop again. THEN I emailed it to him by uploading it from the desktop. THEN I copied and pasted the text from the file and emailed it to him just in case. (pushes up dilbert glasses and does live long and prosper sign)

While typing up his info it had his deceased dads birthday on it, 1 of the dates he needs to do his dads temple work. He doesn't know how old his siblings are or anything like that. FREAK! So the only chance he has is if his mom knows their birthdays and the days that they died etc.
I love the baptismal record, it is the only record these people will have that has a record of a person, their parents, their spouse and their children. There are no legal documents here really. Only problem is that he is carrying around this information in his pocket all folded. This is the only copy he has of this info and it is folded in his pocket! So we typed it up and saved it, ya know just in case he washed his pants or something and lost it forever. MAN!

Our friends are still in prison. They haven't done the court date yet. They were going to do it, then the judges postponed it or something. COME ON PEOPLE! There is no bail here or anything like this. So they are still there. This is now week 3 of prison for an accusation.

They replaced the zone leader with Elder Farnbach. Elder Farnbach and his old companion were in an area and some cops kept asking for their papers; we carry a copy of our passport in our pockets at all times. They kept showing it to them but the cops kept bugging them everyday about it, so president just closed that zone down and moved him to replace the Elder in prison. His old companion replaced the other missionary in prison.
Elder Farnbach, my new ZL, interviewed Phillip for me yesterday. He did a good job, Phillip really felt great. My companion and I sat there and guarded the door.

Anywho, we had interviews with president last week and he scared everybody about keeping all of the rules or else you might be in trouble or prison. He then forbade us to hire people to wash for us. He said we need to avoid even the appearance of evil. AH MAN! So I had to scrub my clothes by hand again and will have to for the rest of the mission. Oh well.

During church, they asked me to teach the primary about missionary work. I went in there and none of them understood anything I was saying so I just had them repeat stuff like 'name badge' and 'missionary' while pointing to myself. Then I took off my name badge and put it on each childs shirt and said "hey future missionary!" They were all happy and wanted to run off with my badge. At the end I made them all shake me with a good firm missionary handshake. I don't know if they learned anything but I tried.

Well Ghana beat the US in the world cup match. It was a big deal. President made us all go inside and specified that it had to be inside our apartment. Everyone went nuts. Everyone was kinda lookin at me weird around 5:30, a half hour before the game, so good call President.

Church was an endless swarm of people mocking me because US lost to Ghana. I blame President Obama, not really. All the newspapers had in big headlines "president Obama says 'go kick their arses!'" concerning the game. I highly doubt this is something he said. Ghana newspapers are probably publishing nonsense, as they usually do, but everyone believes it. I could see Obama slipping up about a world crisis and saying "we are going to kick their explative" kinda like George Bush concerning the terrorist attacks, but not saying that about a football game. Oh well.

(Getting on my soapbox warning)
Football is kinda fun to watch but not really. I get disgusted on how many namby pambies there are. Faking an injury is part of the game. I blame football (soccer) for promoting fakeness or lying to a whole culture. In our US sports, if you fall down because of a fake injury, we will throw you out of the league and/or fine you. You will be boo'd forever. Falling down acting hurt has nothing to do with a 'foul' in the sports we commonly watch at US. I get mad at the ninnies on tv and yell 'nonsense' at them when they fake an injury or whatev. It is a hard game to play, you freaking head the ball with your cranium and run forever and stuff. However it is full of lying! Drives me crazy. At least once in every game, someone is taken off on a stretcher and then is walking around like normal a minute later. To me it is cheating + ninny! Bunch of sissies.

For eg. A man falls down on the ground yelling in agony, then the ref calls a foul. Then instantly the man is healed and continues playing, jumping and heading the ball etc.
eg. A woman doesn't come to church saying she was feeling sick with malaria, then we visit her after church and she is all dolled up and running around outside.
I blame football, or mostly the players who lie in order to score more goals.
(steps off soapbox)

All is well. I am going to buy everyone in the district an apple pie from shoprite if we achieve our baptism goal. If we fail, i'll buy myself an apple pie and eat my sorrows away. Either way i'll eat pie ;)

Well happy burfday britt. Sounds like you are having fun doing plays with your big dave. Keep having fun.

I made a little happy mormon job chart for out apartment. I call it the law of moses chart, the lower law. If you need a job chart just to clean up after yourself, then it's the lower law. At home we didn't need a job chart because when we clean, we clean it. If someone asks us to do it, we do it. I had to present and create the lower law chart haha.

I think the only charts you made were for guitar practice. Those were cool.

Well anywho I gotta run.
I love you all, the church is true. I know it is.
Looks like you are all doing good, keep it up.

Glad Sis McQueen gave you my chips and salsa and fried ice cream present for Fathers Day. She is an awesome person.

Well gotta fly!
Sorry so short this week, had to help my companion for the sake of family history and computer stuffs.
There is a soft spot in my heart for computer backups.

Love you!

Word!
(have you heard the word is love, its so fine, its sunshine- the beatles)

Hey my 5 foot high people, and big Dave. So this week was pretty cool, as all weeks are.
Before I start all I have to say is FRIED TWINKIES! Man nothing says Orem Summerfest like Fried Twinkies.
3 things to describe the Orem Summerfest
1. Too many small girls in onezees dancing and singing to karoke music
2. Sweet fried food!
3. Stay far away from the carnival rides. Portable and thrill ride don't go well together.

Well we took a taxi to Djanman to meet George (a recent convert). I called George for days and he wasn't picking up but I felt strongly that we should visit him. So we took a ride over to his house around 6:30, remember the sun goes down by 6:30 and started up the mountain (bleets) to his house. While we were there we met his mom and she sat us down and she told us something along the lines of "my mother, brother and other members of my family died awhile ago. I'm taking care of my, recently deceased, brothers little child because the mother abandoned him. They didn't never went to church and I'm afraid for them. What can I do to help them, even though they are dead?"

We then taught the plan of salvation and baptisms for the dead. She said that she wants to do it for them. We then taught her that she herself needs to join the church and be baptized as well. She accepted. We will organize to have her son baptize her. She isn't a confident reader but she tries hard and she is doing great. She can read the book of Mormon for herself and she actually read the place we assigned her. YAHOO!!!

THEN one day later, when we were teaching her some more stuff, her husband came and joined us. He read that pamphlet that I gave to him awhile ago. We then invited him to be baptized and he accepted as well. George also has a little brother named Power who we will also baptize. I was talking to the dad after we were done teaching him and he said that he was a singer at a hotel for a job. I was thinking this African traditional music stuff but he said he sang the standards. He then opened up his wardrobe and showed me a stack of old records with billy holiday, nat king cole etc with songs like "it's only a paper moon" and "how high the moon." How the freak did I meet the only person within Accra who listens to and sings american jazz standards? It was one of those "wow, I was supposed to meet you" moments. It is cool to see how God uses what He has in His own special way. I really am supposed to be here haha. The church is true. We then joked about how this stupid music is taking over the hotels, weddings, parties etc. There is a popular song here that is some nigerian rap nonsense that people like that demeans women and is just like a looped rhythm section over and over (as most local music is). Someone requested him to sing it and he said "are you crazy?" I understand him, it was funny. Can't explain. Oh well.

Anywho we gave out a couple more baptismal dates. One to this guy named Phillip. Phillip is 19 and he is the friend of one of our former investigators named Joe. Joe told us that he prayed and knows that it is true but he can't leave his church because he is the organ player. We then taught him about getting paid for doing church service and how it is against the commandments and then the "I will go and do" scripture etc. One day when he is older, he will come. He told his friend Phillip about us and I gave him the Book of Mormon and viola, he read it. After he read it, HE asked US if he could be baptized. The book of Mormon is the best conversion tool.

We are going to baptize Comfort this Saturday. I had Elder Hortin interview her, my zone leader. We only have one zone leader right now because the other one is in prison on a false accusation. (see later on for more details) Comfort is excited and determined. She was sick the day she was supposed to be interviewed but I called her and she got up and came in the rain, with her sickness to be interviewed. She isn't a "fair weathered Mormon" but she really is dedicated and is awesome.

I did my first baptismal interviews yesterday. I had to do 3 of em. They took awhile because I had to teach them what God looks like, they didn't know much about Heavenly Father. From childhood, everyone here is taught in school that God is a Spirit and nobody has ever seen God. I then read the 27th verse from Genesis from the beginning of Bible with them and they go, "WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME!!!???" It is cool to see. The Spirit was there and it was cool. I had people guard the doors "spread eagle" as president Smith told us to do, still one person managed to pry past the door guard and disturb the interview. People just enter bishops offices all the time without knocking. It really is not right, so I make sure that my companion or the missionaries who's candidate is being interviewed are sitting outside in front of the door. That way I can hand off the candidate into the arms of the missionaries and greet them and congratulate them and let the candidate see how happy we are.

Anywho all is well...except for our 2 missionaries in prison. An Elder from Botswana and an Elder from Nigeria were arrested 8 days ago. Nobody has told us anything about why or whatever.

We have been praying a lot for them and a thought and scripture book of mormon story came to my mind as I was freaking upset about this. It was the story of Alma and Amulek being thrown in prison and having to watch all of their recent converts be burned along with all the scriptures. Amulek asks why don't they just stretch forth their hands and stop all this. Alma said that he was constrained because the Lord is going to use this as a witness to stand against them at the last day. Amulek then asks if the bad guys were going to burn them as well and Alma says no because their work is not yet finished. This little Holy Ghost prompting gave me assurance that my friend Elder will be alright and the other Elder will be okay too. Just keep them in your prayers. Also keep their families in your prayers.

Don't worry mom. We are safe.
I bought some Dr. Pepper for our brothers in prison. I found some and promptly bought it. When they get out i'll give it to them.

Well all this stuff was weighing on me this week. I was freaked out about the two Elders a lot. Then our power went off for 3 days and all of our groceries and stew for the week went bad, thats why I had to take out some more cash because we had to buy all new food. Then I couldn't sleep because it was hot and I was worried about Elder Keeng, then I finally fell asleep and then I woke up at 1 in the morning because some neighbors were playing music on their freaking huge speakers. It was freaking rattling our windows and the bass was making my heart jump. It was way too loud, especially for 2 am. Well none of us could sleep and they started playing "Sean Paul" really loud with bad lyrics. I put some more clothes on to see who was 'causing such a racket, darn whipper snappers.' I followed the sound and it was at some house and they were having a wake for someone. I went to the woman in charge and she said that she was sorry but it was tradition to have their wake from 9pm-5 in the morning. If they were morning, why are they playing Sean Paul? She didn't understand and we were left to go home at 4:30 in the morning having to listen to that bad song again as they were mourning...keeping everyone awake during their wake.

I then realized how much I love noise ordinances back home. Before leaving, I gave my condolences to the man who lost his wife whom they were mourning over. He was sitting in the corner not wanting to be there and was falling asleep. Some traditions don't make sense. Just let the guy go home and be with his family. Not having to entertain guests fo 48 hours while people come and boogie while he just lost his wife.

Anywho, I feel a little better now and feel that the Elders will be okay. They've got people working to help them.

I have been thinking lately about my blessing and it says that "I will endear" myself with the people that I teach. I feel like I have been doing that, I just need to work on drawing closer and being kinder to those who are just normal citizens in this different place. Culture is a butt sometimes. Oh well. I'm trying to take the good and leave the bad.

Thanks for all your husky photos. They are funny and they make sense. I like the cool husky photo haha. Reminds me of Elder Zadi a lot. How can you know so much?

You will have to teach me how to make a cool solar cardboard oven. NERD (cough cough). It would be fun to make on a camping trip or something.

Hey so Elder Chamberlain got transferred finally...10 down the street in Tema. Man he can't catch a break. He is a good guy. I will always remember him.

Thanks for your letters you are sending. I devoured your instant mashed potatoes! Yum. I also devoured your hershey bars and gave one to elder Boyd. He came over and delivered us another fan. He has had the runny tummy since he has been here for 7 months so I gave him a hershey bar. Office elder needs chocolate so I gave one chocolatey goodness bar away.

Tell Britt happy burfday. I will drink many dr.peppers in your honor. You ol' coot!

Well I love you all lots. I gotta run.

Love you dad, happy fathers day. THe bishop asked me to give a thought from the book of mormon during our PEC meeting and I opened to 3rd nephi 18 and read the place where it says "pray in your families" and then told the story how you would always pray in our rooms while we were sleeping, or wake us up so we could say a prayer and how you made sure we always had a family prayer before we went to sleep. The bishop then smiled and said that on mothers day I shared a scripture about how mom taught me all the gospel concepts to me and that is why I know them kinda the whole, "they did not doubt because our mothers knew it" and then on fathers day I shared about how dad always made sure that we prayed as a family. He knows that I am here because of my mom and dad. Thanks for being good parents. Keep it up!

Well gotta run and go baptize people!
Love you. Talk to ya'll later!

I'll letcha know about our elders in prison in the next email. Hopefully they will be out by then. Pray for them.

Love you!

The chained monkey. I wanted to release the monkey back into the hmm wild?...except this is the city, so...um streets where it could roam around freely and chase and smack chickens, goats, small children who taunt and mock me; but our furry friend has big nasty lion like teeth and he would confuse my liberating efforts with harm. Story of my investisgators too.

Edwinas family.

Emmanuel Kissi and his wife. He wrote that 'walking in the sand' book that mom read. He is in Odokor ward, just down the street. He invited us over to eat. He is the stake patriarch. Good guy.
He is wise, like Yoda.

Elder boyd in the office having to paste stuff, with that stupid paste glue in a jar.
I told him that he looked like a kid in the corner with the dunce cap on, he said that he felt that way. haha.

My companion and I. Go show-ties!

photo mom sent of Elder Bills and Elder Boberah if they were a husky team. (You know the whole husky sled team-work thing.)

photo mom sent of more huskies. The cool one is Elder Zadi...haha.

Word up!

So I'm staying in McCarthy Hills District this transfer. President called up my companion Elder Yahaya and told him that he was moving him over to Ashaiman (my last area) and then President told him to give me the phone and he asked me to "take the responsibilities of District Leader." So now I am District Leader and have (shudders) responsibilities and I gotta look at the numbers on the white board and go "hmm, aha! I see" and talk to the Zone Leaders all the time on the phone and stuff. What is sobering is what President said, "you are the gatekeeper to the straight and narrow path." (gulp!) No worries though, all will be cool.

My new companion is Elder Bobareh from Sierra Leone. He is a small guy, smaller than Brit even. He is easy to get along with. He doesn't really understand me when I talk though... I have to use simple language and speak slow for him to understand all that is going on. It is tricky. Eg. At church we had some new investigators there and I had to run one down to schedule an appointment and I asked Elder Bobareh to "schedule a return appointment with Comfort, I'm going to schedule a return appointment with Phillip. Okay?" So I came back but he didn't understand so I had to go run Comfort down as well etc. Don't worry, we'll figure out each others accents...hopefully haha.

So Elder Zadi (Frenchy) is still there with me and his new companion is Elder Nkemoklam (in-ka-mock-uh-lawm) from Nigeria. So I'm the only whitey around. Don't worry. All will be okay. It is tricky because the communication is low and some are recent converts, now missionaries. Elder Zadi is really picking up his game and is a big help. Both of us seem to be running our companions around and are a little stressed. I think it will be easier for everyone once they build their mountain goat physique from riding their bikes up and down the "McCarthy Hills" haha.

Well anywho most of my email today will be from some journal entries of mine. I'll just transcribe them over.

June 11, 2010 -
President called me and asked me to take on the responsibilities of district leader in the McCarthy Hills District. I felt that something was coming. I know that I can live up to these responsibilities but it is somehow scary. I just went to a "leadership training" meeting and they talked a lot about numbers and stuff. They also used a lot of words like "focus" and "direction" and all those suit wearing people type of words. The meeting felt a little like a CEO business meeting. All that was missing was a pie graph, a big oak table and we should have been up at least on the 2nd floor vs the ground floor haha.

In the meeting, some of the missionaries try to out do each other in CEO speak, but most everyone just graduated from High School. It is funny. I don't even try to compete. I'm all for teaching using paper cut outs and family home evening props but you do need all the business and order folk in there to have to work progress and succeed. I'm trying hard to understand what is going on in those meetings. I also fail in the President style of answering questions. E.G. He has you "define ____" using words like "accountability" or "outline" or "moral authority" or whatever. He has a certain answer in his mind and no matter if you give a correct answer, you still can be wrong because it wasn't the answer he wanted. I never seem to be able to give the "right" answer haha. oh well.

I am the only American in my district.

Elder Keeng, my Zone Leader from Botswana (south africas little brother), did something really nice for me today. It was a simple little thing but it just was really nice. I have never been to the tro-tro station "circle" before and caught a tro-tro home. Elder Keeng must have sensed that, he walked with me and my companion and helped me find a tro-tro going to our destination. He then called later to make sure we got home safe. He is a good dude.
Also our former AP Elder Barnard car pooled with me to the leadership training meeting and made sure we got there alright. I have some good friends and leaders watching out for me. I hope one day I will be helpful like them. I know that God is watching over me. I feel somehow connected to the missionaries here, we all must have been foreordained at the same pre earth life meeting in heaven and ate fufu together or something haha. The church is true.

June 12, 2010
I will entitle this journal entry "The Joys of a District Leader"

Today we finally baptized Edwina! Lots was working against baptizing her, but we succeeded!

The day started by having a coordination meeting with our new ward mission leader, Brother Albert. The meeting was supposed to be at the church but we called and found out that they have not given him any keys to the chapel. It was supposed to start at 10 and Elder Zadi forgot to tell me that an electrician was coming to fix our electricity box so we get our own pre-paid power meter and own bill instead of sharing it with our land lord. (worst idea ever! Sharing bills. COME ON!!!) The electrician came at 8:30 and was taking too long and I didn't want to be late, I still thought at this time that we were traveling to the chapel. So my companion and I collected all of the valuables in the apartment and put them in our rooms so we could lock them up safely and leave the electrician to work in our barren house alone. I went to lock our bedroom, with the goods now inside, and the freaking bolt deelie was to big for the hole in the door frame so we couldn't lock it. (actually if you think about it, really the hole was too small for the bolt deelie) So we didn't leave the house.

Luckily the ward mission leader didn't have keys to the chapel so we called him to come to our apartment. I tried to direct him here but nobody understands my American accent on the phone so Elder Zadi directed him. Finally, after the meeting we went and found 1 cool new investigator.

THEN we went to the chapel on our bikes. By this time we had already gone up and down the monster hill to our apartment multiple times because Elder Zadi forgot a pair of extra underclothing items for after the baptism. (he was the backup baptist, which is 90% of the time needed). We were tired small, my comp isn't used to the hills and he is still building his mountain goat stamina.

At the chapel, there were a buncha people. They were having a civil marriage outside. YES! YAHOO FOR CIVIL MARRIAGE! I usually avoid large groups of people because people act stupid. Lets just say that they gaze at me like I'm King Kong, talk in funny voices AT me and yell "obroni" or other obroni related stupid stuff; most of all that drives me nuts is when they run up to touch me because their friends dared them to do it... Anywho I couldn't avoid it because the baptism and the wedding were at the same church so whatayado? Even though I was harassed small, a guy offered me a pepsi and I accepted. Any Ghanaian getting married civilly, with a written document as proof, I'll drink to it. Heck i'll drink to anything that is distancing people away from the demeaning bride price.

WELL at the baptism the presiding bishopric member didn't show up, neither did our baptist. We didn't even have enough priesthood holders to perform the baptism. I called our backup, Elder Zadi (the missionaries are not allowed to attend the baptisms unless one of their own candidates are being baptized), and he rushed over to the chapel so we could perform the baptism. The Bishop gave our ward mission leader permission to preside through the phone. All the frantic phone calling was done from my missionary phone because our ward mission leader ran out of credit on his phone... I felt like that hindu picture/statue, ya know the one with lots of arms who is acting like a 1940's telephone operator.

Well our ward didn't have any towels for the baptism even though they promised they would purchase some especially for this baptism and they committed to have them there...Luckily I am a boyscout, I packed a spare towel and committed (we do that whole committing thing a lot haha) Edwina's mom to bring an extra towel for Edwina. Anywho we had to wait for about 30 min for Elder Zadi to arrive because there was this traffic jam. During this 30 min I was pacing around the church and then to the front doors and then would gaze towards the front gate as a dog does when waiting for his master to arrive from an absence. Then I would return to pacing and repeat the process until he came. FINALLY we started the baptism.

During the baptism, while we were hoping it could be reverent, the people from the wedding outside started bringing in the chairs and doing what I call yellspeak (it is talking meets yelling, they do it when they are happy or warning someone of danger) and started slapping around the hallway wearing little noise makers, also known as flip flops. The rooms all have ventilation on the top of the walls, the walls are open on the top, so you can hear everything. The walls do nothing as far as stopping sound. So I went out and tried to silence them. Moot effort.

Then they finally left and there was almost a sense of reverence until these little girls came around. They must have been some daughters from some attendees of the wedding, they might as well be called orphans because their parents don't care about them or at least don't care or know where they are ( I even questioned them later on who was over 9 and was not yet baptized and their parents were members of the church. Most of them raised their hands so I took down their names and found out that they are in Odokor ward; the Odokor missionaries will enjoy baptizing them). Well these little girls started yelling in the hallway, I guess some ants ran down the girls dress and they were looking for water to wash the ants off. I escorted them to the furthest bathroom away from the baptismal room and had some girls hose her down. THEN, the baptismal room has the only faucet in the church building and the ants-in-the-pants orphan clan came in and were wanting a drink of water. It isn't purified water and they could get typhoid so I tried to nudge them towards outside so they could buy some safe water from a lady selling some on her head or something; but alas they wouldn't listen. Finally ants-in-the-pants drink time was over and it was time for the actual immersing part of the baptism.

Edwina got in the water and her foot popped up so I (who was witnessing) had them do it over again. Then Edwina's mom came up and said, "I want you to use her full name". So I had her write down this freakishly long name "Edwina Nana Afua Ofosuaa...it went on" MAN! So I held the paper so Elder Zadi could read it and perform the baptism. Finally she was baptized. The Holy Ghost was there for a moment. THEN during the hymns while Edwina and Elder Zadi were changing, Elder Nkemokolam started trying to play the piano. Only problem is he doesn't know how to play!  I gave him the evil glare but he kept doing it. It sounded like 2 boxing gloves punching the piano. He was as jolly as could be with my companion sitting right by his side enjoying the boxing glove rendition of the hymns. I finally looked at them, staring into their souls and gave them the universal "cut" sign. Still they persisted. Finally I mouthed silently "stop!" and gave them the "Adang?" or "why?" sign, made by clapping once (silently in this case) and then rolling your palms over so they face upwards with your hands open. They finally stopped.
MAN! It was then I realized that I was the only guy around for miles who had a lesson in primary on "reverence" and am the ONLY one who could sit through a whole sacrament meeting, musical performance, ordinance without talking loudly, texting or answering my phone or being a nuisance.

I now need to somehow get a baptismal certificate made by our unknown ward clerk as our usual one got released last week and nobody knows who the new ward clerk is. AH!

Well I bought a big bottle of coke and am going to eat a hershy bar that mom sent (squished, but they still get the job done. Oh it is frozen too! YUM) and eat my stress and headache away.

Bottom line is that Edwina is finally baptized!!!

oh. p.s.
Elder Zadi didn't pull the plug from the font so all the water was still in there. If left in there it starts to smell and it makes the whole church smell. So Elder Zadi left, wearing the extra pair of backup underclothing items that we rode back to the apartment to get for him. So I changed into a baptismal gown (dress) and jumped in the font and dove down and released the water. (haha that sounds wrong) I pulled the plug (also sounds wrong haha) Well we had a lesson to run to so I just put my clothes back on and rode our bikes to the lesson, still wearing my now wet underwear from the water releasing adventure.

Ah the Joys of a District Leader.

END OF JOURNAL ENTRIES.

Sweet that Stevie got married! Glad you went to eat with Grandma and Grandpa. Man with grandpa bob the food doesn't have to be super good for him to love the place. You just gotta make it seem cool. Like I woulda bragged about the pistachio pudding and the mashed potatoes that make you instantly get fat. He woulda loved it. Just hype it up before you go and he will love it.

I got your packages. Thanks for the Hersheys! Hey my card reader broke. Or the usb cable to it broke. One of them. Could you send another one? Sorry. It is just hard to find that kinda stuff around here unless you travel around, which I don't wanna do. During summer all the tourists are coming and that means all the beggars are coming out as well. They have all these little gypsy kids (they look like little Aladdin's, they are adorable but watch yourself) running around that will latch on to you and not let go until you pay them something. They also pick your pocket etc. I don't know why there are brown gypsies here, don't ask me why.

Also 2 of our African Missionaries got arrested Saturday. They aren't telling us why, all they told us is that we 'always need to stay with our companions and never for any reason leave them.' They are still in prison, so they have been there for 2 days. They weren't in my district. I know one of them who is in prison and he is a great guy. They will let us know what is up soon. It is really sad.

Anywho sorry to leave ya on a downer, don't worry about me all is super cool on my end.
We will baptize Comfort in 2 weeks. Gotta go find some more people.

Oh the world cup is going on, during the Ghana games president usually texts us and makes us go inside for the rest of the day. People freak out with football. Forget about proselyting during that time, nobody will listen or they will yell at you because you disturbed the sacred game. We have a member that stay close to our apartment so we can watch the game there. It gets interesting when Ghana plays white teams because to the fans, all the white missionaries start to look like the nationality of the opposing team that Ghana is playing. President makes us go in during the games. It is crazy that something as small as a football game will totally thwart the work. Oh well.

Well I'll letcha know how the district leader-ing stuff goes. I'll do a good job...I hope just kidding. My blessing says that I'll do a good job at it if I just keep the commandments.

Well love you family.

I like hearing your voice in your emails mom. Love you.
The blog wasn't updated today. This is unusual for you. You okay? I feel somehow prompted to have someone get you some chips and salsa from betos and then plop you down in the upstairs room and have you watch one of your weirdo documentaries. Don't ask me why, just do it. Get some rest.

Love you mom and family. Talk to you later.

Here are some photos Elder Chamberlain emailed me from my last area.

The first one is John and Portia, who we were teaching and didn't quite have a baptismal date. Elder Moa and Elder Chamberlain ended up baptizing them! Ka pow!

The second one is John  K, standing next to Elder Chamberlain (the guy in the back row, 2nd on the left). We had his good friend/fellow-shipper baptize him, I can't remember his name. He is the big dude next to Elder Moa.

HELLO from the "fastest internet cafe in Africa"

So one can only take so much gasoline powered internet. So we took 2 tro tro's (cost 60 cents/pesuas) to a place called Circle and went to the Vodaphone cafe. The place has air conditioning, nice keyboards with no stick!, even has that pergo fake wood floor. Problem is that it costs 5 cedis... Oh well. At least I wont have that fear about losing my email and then having to slam my head on the desk and yell "STELLA!" This place is fast enough to run gmail in the normal view (normal view, normal view, NORMAL VIEW! from mst3000) so it automatically saves. It is a big comfort.

HOLY COW! You are serious? The Del Carbon shredded beef taco is back? YES! There is hope for America! (I'm not even being sarcastic right now. You have no idea how happy I am!) Now all we need is big mac mondays to come back at McDonalds.

So this week was kinda cool. We were hoping to have tons of people at church but nope. I have dubbed Sunday the disappointment day. Just kidding. We committed 2 families to come and even had members offer to go and walk them to church but they refused and said that they would come. We even visited them Saturday night and they were ready to go and were planning on it. THEN, something stupid and small always gets in the way. One family was cooking, big deal around here (don't mess with them during cooking time!), and another one lost their ID card so they couldn't get money to take a tro tro to church. (60 cents!)

We are forbidden to give anybody any money, we can't even buy them bibles for 1 cedi, because President said we can't do it. They have been having problems with members not being self reliant and we can't let them think they we are here to help them in any financial way. President and the Area authorities said that until Africa is self reliant with the gospel, the gospel won't spread to some other places that don't have missionaries yet. Africa is the focus right now, then will come those other countries. So anywho, I woulda just paid for their tro tro ride and had them pay me back but we aren't allowed to. Anywho, they are all geared up to come next Sunday. We will see how that goes.

Anywho, I was all bummed out because none of the investigators were at church. Then at the very end of fast and testimony meeting, Edwina and Gertrudes mom stood up and bore her testimony. She has been a member for 25 years and has never borne her testimony because she said she never had felt the Holy Ghost before. She bore a great and simple testimony and that she has decided to prepare to go to the temple. It was great. I was extremely happy. We kept teaching the little girls and they are doing very very well. The Holy Ghost is always there when we teach the girls.

When teaching Edwina and Gertrude, I made up a game so they would have fun. We were teaching lesson 2, the plan of salvation, so we played "the plan of salvation race" game. So I found 2 pieces of paper and grabbed 2 pens and had them sit on the floor. Then I had Elder Yahaya be the official timer with a stopwatch. Then the girls found a gold trophy looking paper weight, which of course would be given to the winner. They also had a little toy furby small thingie, which would be for the loser (nobody likes those things). So we started the race, whoever drew the whole plan of salvation first wins. I commentated the whole time like a football game. We then had a trophy ceremony afterwards and I sang the olympic anthem (made the trumpet sounds with my voice).
They had a blast and they learned a lot. At first they were having a hard time memorizing the plan so I drew 3 circles then the sun, moon and stars. They memorized first the circles and planets (pre earth, earth, spirit world, Celestial, Terrestrial, Telestial). Then I drew 2 straight lines in between each circle and then a double line between the last world and the kingdoms (creation/fall, death, resurrection and judgment) They memorized this easily and then we played the game. SUZUKI STYLE!

It as fun to see how the Lord used my guitar-teaching experience in teaching them. I didn't really recognize what I was doing, I just do it. It must be from all that little kid guitar teaching. I think this is what made the mother recognize the church is true. We didn't really even teach her anything, but the children stay in the house and the Spirit was there. I think she recognized that something was different in her home and it had changed for the better ('changed for the better'...song from wicked..I think.. darn you britt and your musicals). We will baptize Edwina on Saturday so PARTY!!!

So Sunday I was like hmm the dude from Psycho (some type of -ic. Schizophrenic or some other -ic. I don't know them all, but was definitely an -ic of some sort) I was sad because nobody came, but then happy because the mom's testimony is building and the family is getting stronger. The work is sweet, but gives you a headache haha.

Anywho transfers are coming, which means anyone could be going anywhere. I betcha I'll stay put for now. We got a new AP, Elder Beeston. He red-shirted for BYU football. I don't know him too much but he seems cool. Also Elder Boyd is in the office now. He has hmm been feeling a little intestinal sickness for 6 months. So sister Smith gave him a scale and is having him track his weight and he has to drink tons of water and stuff. I just say drink more coke. Give your body something familiar. Anywho, he will be close so Sis Smith can watch him.

President Smith had to send home 2 missionaries last transfer because they broke some major rules. He then gave us a big talk on obedience and keeping the mission rules. We don't know what happened.

Thanks mom for doing that cd. I think sister Smith will like it. You rule! you are the only person I know who can do that type of stuff. High five (with our hands doing the Spock 'live long and prosper' sign)

Well thanks dad and mom for your letters. I got your conference mp3's and magazines. I'm super cool, I have them before everbody else. MAN Elder Holland is the dude! This conference ensign rocks. I really like the mp3's too. It is fun to listen to and i dunno, it is just really nice to have. Thanks for sending them.

Well I gotta run. Keep up the good work family!

p.s. Yeah there is nowhere to exchange money so you gotta treasure up your small bills once you find someone who can break them for you. It is a tricky deal.

Talk to you soon!

Here's some pictures:

Michael Jackson biscuits!!!
Oh of course, I had to! Who's bad?

Kids like to comb my hair.

A random boy fell asleep on me in a taxi haha.

It is the rainy season! Elder Fisher and I had to go on splits and I took the umbrella. I think this is the first time in my life I have used an umbrella. Oh wait! I remember you gave me one when I was in elementary school. The embarrassing one with frog eyes that popped out on the top haha.

Here is some dudes gate in our area. There are all sorts of weirdo churches around that have their members do weird stuff such as paint your door with red paint, kinda like Moses did... Apostasy all over the place.

Here is the random white guy who is here studying goats or school systems or something.
He isn't baptized yet but he will be baptized by his father when he gets home. This guy is overly smart and educated.
He really is a sweet dude. He comes to all the activities and is a big strength to the ward, even though he isn't a member. He and I had a deep discussion about Greek and Norse mythology and how they are related to Christianity but are far off because nothing was written down. Also how the Egyptians were closer to the truth because they wrote stuff down. We then related it to the book of Omni and how the people fell into wickedness because one of the dudes didn't write anything down. I then told the guy to get in the water and let us baptize him, he then told us his father is going to baptize him when he goes home in September to Boston.

Here is Elder Fisher and I (on splits) at the Avocado place. Man, Avocado has a buncha different names. Some people call it a pear and others call it a paya. This gets highly confusing saying I would like a pear, and they look at you freaking confused then you say "oh my mistake, I would like a paya." Then you go to another place and say "I would like a paya" and they start cutting up a papaya for you. AHH!!! Anywho I eat plenty of these because hmm they rock extremely.

Here is Elder Yahaya and Oprah (yes her name is after Oprah on tv...) Elder Yahaya is a big wwf and wcw fan. He actually can name all the moves and people and stuff. We have great wcw vs wwf talks. Elder Waters and I were joking around and he wanted to wrestle me (he was a wrastler in high school). I then said we could wrestle but he would have to state all the names of the moves as he did them. He then couldn't and I told Elder Yahaya that I would "start off with a stone cold stunner and then give him a diamond cutter followed up by the angle lock and finish him with the walls of jericho. After the match is over I would give him the peoples elbow." Elder Yahaya knew exactly what I was talking about and was laughing hysterically. He is a great companion.

Oprah and I. I thought britt would like her little hair ball elastic thingies. This girl is spoiled!!!

Man, I wish we did this at home on our cigarette boxes. Or do we? Notice how Satan still states this as a hard bubble test question.
The statement makes smoking sound good unless you read it twice and notice the 'stopping' part at the front. GEEZ!

Man everyone steals our pictures for their weirdo church stuff.

Gertrude showing us her baby pictures. Love those fat baby wrist thingies.



All the white missionaries at mama Lees house eating rice on fast sunday.
That was the 9th time I have been there to eat. She knows me well.